“What indeed is YOU? How can you mean different things to millions of readers around a vast earth? And perhaps most importantly, who are YOU?” -Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD
If you’ve read the ridiculous and presumptuously profound book by Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD, you may know what I’m talking about. Or you may not, as the book makes almost no sense.
If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend it. It’s a real treat (and it’s free right now on the Apple Books app!). From odd bee metaphors, to weird film analysis of the movie Sister Act, to hilarious commentary on sex, witless self encouraging poetry, and much more, it’s absolutely worth the read. I smiled the whole time.
One of the reasons I find this short read so delightful is because I’ve gotten to know the author, the character of Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD, from Apple TV’s hit show Severance. If you’ve watched Severance, there’s just no way not to love Ricken. He is unassumingly odd, obliviously self-aware, graciously gentle, and modestly self-deprecating.
The book serves as a companion piece to the show so if you read this book and haven’t watched the show to familiarize yourself with Ricken’s personality quirks, you’ll undoubtably be very confused. Hell, even if you’ve watched the show, you’ll still be confused, but readers everywhere will at the very least be illuminated and amused. Especially if you listen to the audiobook, read by none other than Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD himself.
I have a lot to say about Severance, but I’m saving that for another post at another time. For now, I simply want to bask in the enlightenment channeled by Dr. Hale and provide my own take on the me I am.
Who am I?
The book is all about YOU and diagnosing who YOU are and what that means. For a long time I pondered daily who I was. The simple answer was something engrained in me since I was a child, singing in primary: “I am a child of God.” And while that provided some peace and comfort to the extent that my adolescent self could comprehend my own existence, 39 years of life have taught me that there is much more to me than that. After all, my own children are not just children of me, they are their own little people with personalities, talents, brains, hearts, words, thoughts, ideas, and feelings. I don’t want them to just be a product of their parents, I want them to be who they are. And I hope that that person is very different from me.
But as for me, who am I?
Michael
Who is Michael? A name my mother only called me when I was in trouble, which if you’ve read any of my posts about my childhood you would know, that hardly ever happened… 🙂 It’s a proper name, reserved for legends with last names like Jackson or Jordan. It was also #1 name on the list of most popular baby boy names the year of my birth, 1985. I guess my parents were goin’ with the flow that year. Michael also is of Hebrew origin and means “who is like God” or “gift from God.” But I don’t aspire much individual connection to that as I’ve already stated we are all children of God and all children are truly gifts from God. Also, people at work sometimes call me Michael as that’s the name I put on my resume, and sometimes it just sticks.
Mikey
Who is Mikey? For my family and friends that grew up with me, I’m commonly known as Mikey. A name I enjoy still to this day (hence the title of my blog- a play on words from a long running popular 1970’s Life cereal commercial) and has always been more acceptable by those who know me on a personal level. To this day, if I run into anyone I’ve known since elementary school, they’ll still call me Mikey and it’s totally fine. There have also been friends I’ve met as an adult, and since my wife calls me Mikey, she will introduce me as Mikey to her friends, her friends become my friends, and voilà , I’m almost a 40 year old grown ass man people still call Mikey. Sounds strange, I know, but it works.
Mike
Who is Mike? At some point during my teenage years, I started to go by Mike. It felt weird to make friends and introduce myself as “Mikey.” So for as long as I can remember, when I make new friends, meet new people, or talk to others in a professional environment, I introduce myself as Mike. Short, sweet, simple.
The only times this presents a problem is when people from these different areas of my life collide, and they all know me by their version of my name. It doesn’t happen often, and it’s sometimes entertaining to watch people all of a sudden question themselves in regards to my name.
In reality, I don’t really care what people call me because when it comes to who I am, I’m more than just my name.
Somebody That I Used To Know
Last year was my 20 year high school reunion. 20 YEARS! Yikes. Well, I wasn’t able to make it. But I messaged a few old friends, and saw the Facebook photos, and it was fun to remotely reminisce about those days and the people I knew.
KNEW. I intentionally say that in past tense because, since I haven’t kept in touch real well over the years, I really don’t know them anymore at all. My version of who they are more than likely no longer exists.
Hopefully, they’ve changed.
Think about someone you know, but haven’t seen or talked to in a while. What are they like? Who are they? You really have no idea. They are just somebody that you used to know. Have your friends collect your records and then change your number.
Change
We live in a world where we can often digitally observe other people’s changes. Physical changes, political changes, spiritual changes, or whatever people are willing to share over the internet.
Like a picture of themselves (above) that clearly shows a wrinkled face, emerging grey hairs, and one eyeball that refuses to open as much as the other. The moles look questionable, the eyebrows like furry caterpillars, and Indiana Jones called, he wants his jacket back. That right there is a different looking person than the awkward, nerdy, skeleton of a boy that graduated high school over 20 years ago.
But more than that, the man pictured up above thinks different. Has different habits. Has a changed perspective of priorities and goals. Has new responsibilities and challenges thrust upon him. He has 20 years of experiences. He may not believe all the things he believed 20 years ago. Or even 10 or 5 years ago. He’s probably changed his mind on all kinds of social, political, or religious points of view. If you sat down and had a conversation with him today, you might be surprised at something he says, believes, or does today. He might not fit the past version of him that you may have had in your mind.
Acceptance
This is what acceptance is. Accepting and loving someone as they are, not as they were, or who you’d like them to be. As they are, right now, in front of you.
It’s human nature to put people into boxes and label them. It simple, easy, and doesn’t require much effort on our part. It streamlines our worldview. Especially if we think we know everything about someone after a brief conversation, or worse, a social media post of some kind. Social media is the epitome of a floating iceberg. What we think we know about someone just barely scratches the surface. I know I do this. I’ve got someone neatly tucked away in my brain as a specific kind of thing and label, and then, all of a sudden, they go changin’ on me and I weirdly act surprised by this?! How could they! I maybe even get a little judgy in my mind. Wow, that person did that? Said that? I never would have thought! They pulled out my neat little box, ripped off the label, and emptied it all over the floor. Then lit it on fire.
It’s hard to accept things we might not understand, even though we actually do it all the time. I don’t understand how cell phones work, I just know how to use one. I don’t understand how gigantic metal shafts full of people are able to fly in the air at crazy fast speeds, but I’ll watch a movie and sleep soundly in my barely reclined chair as I gaze down upon mountains below, like a mythical Greek god. I’ll never understand how a woman’s brain operates (and I’ve been married to one for over 16 years!) but I accept that somehow the female species can manage to think, speak, listen, and act simultaneously on a regular basis and still function. Not only function, but thrive.
Accepting people, not what they do or say, but who they are, may or may not help us understand them, but it will increase our love for them.
Beeeeee Yourself
So who am I? No idea. I don’t ponder this question daily anymore. The less time I spend worrying about who I am, and the more time I spend just being myself, the happier I realize I become. I like myself. Whoever that is. You can put me in your box and label me, stick me up on your shelf. You can judge me all you want or think you’re better or worse than me, whatever that means. We all do it, myself included.
It’s simple and perhaps cliché, but just beeeeee yourself. Whoever that is. Roll with the punches. Change. Accept. Love. Look forward to a time where you can look back and be proud of how much you’ve changed.
If you can do that with yourself, I think you’ll find you can do it with other people around you. Let others beeeeee themselves. Whoever that is. Roll with their punches. Their changes. Accept and love them. Be proud of how much they’ve changed.
The more you allow them to be themselves, they’ll allow you to be yourself, back and forth like a symbiotic dance where change, acceptance, and love deepens. You care less and less about The You You Are, and more and more about the love you have.
For others and for yourself.
So I’m Sorry Dr. Ricken Lazlo Hale, PhD, as much as I absolutely love you and your fictional self, and as fantastic as your book is, I don’t want to spend any more time thinking about the me I am.
I just want to be it.
Mikey He Writes It 